


Star Trek and Pizza

by breakfastforbeginners



Category: The Good Wife (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-11
Updated: 2015-04-11
Packaged: 2018-03-22 08:12:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,082
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3721585
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/breakfastforbeginners/pseuds/breakfastforbeginners
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes they have pizza and watch a movie at his, and sometimes she thinks it's the only thing keeping her sane.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Star Trek and Pizza

**Author's Note:**

> Full disclosure: I haven’t seen the remake movie in a long time so this is all from memory. Sorry, I think.

_**Star Trek and Pizza** _

 

Something starts buzzing rhythmically, and it takes Alicia an embarrassing moment before she realises it’s her phone. “Again,” She grumbles, dropping her tuna sandwich and wiping her fingers on a thoughtfully left napkin, before fishing out the offending machine under three folders. She can’t even eat lunch in peace anymore. Alicia’s bristling when she answers without looking at the caller ID.

“Hello?”

There’s a beat before a familiar voice asks, “What are you wearing?”

She can’t help the short reflexive laugh that sneaks out and before she realises what she’s doing, Alicia’s leaning back with a smile.

“Hello, Finn.” He must be on the street from the background noise. She hears someone yelling for a taxi and several car horns before she recognises the tapping sounds are his shoes on the pavement. “What can I do for you?”

“Actually, I was wondering if there was something I could do for you. Movie and a pizza at mine?” He pauses for a second and she tries not to wonder if it’s nerves or if someone has stepped out in front of him. “You can bring the wine and I’ll let Channel 7 know you’ll be over at eight.” It’s not nerves.

She’s trying hard to keep the smile out of her voice but Alicia knows she’s not doing a great job of it. “Alright but only if you pick the movie this time. I told you there was a reason the kids don’t let me choose.” Not that they were around anymore these days. God she needed to get out of that apartment. “Thank you, Finn,” Her voice is sincere which somehow makes it quieter but Finn has left the streets behind. She hears an elevator ping.

“Anytime, Alicia. You know that.” Somebody says his name down the other end of the line and her sandwich is really starting to turn. “I gotta go. I’ll see you at eight?” It’s a question this time and she thinks maybe he isn’t so sure of himself after all.

“I’ll see you at eight.” He hangs up and she finishes lunch with only two more interruptions.

 

* * *

 

 

She’s pawing through his cd collection again when Finn thrusts the pizza box towards her. Too distracted to look she grabs a piece and takes a bite before making a face.

“God, anchovies? Really?”

“With extra olives,” Finn waggles his eyebrows and Alicia laughs, dumping the piece back in and reaching for her half.

“You’re disgusting.”

“I had to find some way to protect my half. You ate six slices the first time we did this.”

“Oh my god,” She ignores him, picking out the cd she’s been looking for. “I found it.” She snorts indelicately around her mouthful before hitting ‘eject’ on the stereo. Finn groans dramatically from the lounge, picking up her unfinished slice.

“Please don’t.”

He knows what it is before the first bar of drum beats begins. Alicia spins around, grinning like the cat in the cream.

The first scream of hokey instruments causes her laugh gleefully as Finn winces simultaneously. Alicia makes her way to sit beside him on the old leather sofa Finn drove down with him from New York nearly a year ago now. He’s sulking as he chews and Alicia almost chokes on her laughter.

“Oh my god,” She says again. “I can’t believe you have his entire discography.”

“A lotta people like Dave Matthews Band,” Finn defends himself. “And besides, it’s not as bad as Bette Midler!” If he thinks teasing her in return will make her stop he’s dead wrong.

“Yes. It is.” Alicia suppresses another round of giggles, reaching behind the couch to hit ‘stop’ since Finn’s turning on the television. When she sits back she finds Finn’s eyes on her and he’s giving her a funny look.

“What!” The glassy expression is replaced with a frown and Finn busies himself flicking around for the channel with the dvd player. Alicia takes another bite of her slice before she realises her sweatshirt has ridden up and she tugs it down, rubbing a little of the grease off her fingers. The pizza place they use must hate them, she thinks as he navigates through the language choice menu. It explicitly states no ‘half'n'half’ on the flyer stuck to his fridge. Four weeks ago when they’d first ordered out, Finn said they’d make an exception for the Governor’s wife and he’d been annoyingly right. It had soured her immediately but after her first bite Alicia had stopped caring. Sometimes political clout had its advantages.

Alicia folds her legs under her as the main menu opens up and the sleek colours with the title appear. “Star Trek?”

“What? You don’t like it?” He sounds so uncertain and she can see him backtracking fast. “You’ve seen it before.” He concludes, already leaning forward to get up and take it out of the dvd player.

“No!” Alicia rests a hand on his arm to pull him back. “No, I just didn’t expect it, that’s all,” She smiles. “You don’t strike me as a  _trekkie_.”

“Oh,” Finn runs a hand up the back of his short hair and it makes the top stand directly up in little tufts. “I guess I never thought of myself as one.”

“Owen loved it when he was a teenager,” She chews, picking up her glass of red. “I swear, he had a whole shelf in his bookcase filled just with the tapes he’d make every week. God, he must have been thirteen? Maybe fifteen? I had to take him to one of the movies when Mom went out of town with Dad.” She pushes her hair behind her ear and swallows a mouthful of wine. What the hell is it about Finn that makes all these memories pour out of her. She can’t remember the last time she told somebody a personal story (or one they hadn’t discovered first at least) outside of him.

Finn’s smiling quietly on the other side of the pizza box and he hits ‘play’. The movie is never up too loud because most of the time they end up talking over it and when the first couple of minutes end up being about women in Kirk’s bed Alicia concentrates on finishing her dinner, trying not to notice when their fingers continually brush against each other by accident as they go for the next piece.

“It gets better,” Finn says under his breath, leaning towards her when he catches her looking forlornly towards her phone safely tucked inside her bag on the other side of the room, near the television. Alicia smiles politely, but it does.

Her job on these nights is to make sure they don’t run out of wine and it’s a two bottle-minimum requirement as Alicia swiftly learnt after the first night. She’s pouring Finn another glass when something starts to vibrate obnoxiously against the couch.

Finn’s face drops and he pats his jean pockets before pulling out his phone with a stricken look.

Alicia’s jaw drops before a big shit-eating grin fixes itself across her face. She slowly shakes her head theatrically as he answers, decidedly avoiding her look.

“Finn Polmar.”

The person on the other end does all the talking; he just purses his lips and utters a few notes of gruff assent.

“Okay. Right, I know. Did they check the bottom file?”

It’s work. Alicia resettles herself, taking the time to enjoy her wine - it’s the last glass of the bottle. Finn’s standing, wandering away from the couch, his free hand trying to find a use between the pocket of his jeans and digging a palm into his right eye.

“No, that’s the wrong date. Did you call Maria?” Sulu is falling from the drill thing on the television and if she’s honest, Alicia doesn’t even remember whom they’re fighting.

“Call her. She has the court dates; I don’t have them on me. No. I’m at home.” Finn glances over at her then and sends a look of apology. Alicia smiles, a sign of peace. It’s okay. She practically answers phones all day; she certainly has before on nights like these.

“I’ll be in at seven then.” Finn hangs up and exhales a long, exhausted sigh, collapsing back onto the couch. “The glamorous life of an ASA. You sure you want in on this?” He says pointing to himself as if he’s the State’s Attorney in its entirety. Alicia smiles and scoops the empty pizza box off onto the coffee table and passes Finn a full wine glass instead.

“Wise woman,” he says gratefully and takes a long sip, folding his ankles in front of him over the low table. It’s moments like this when it hits her just how long his legs are.

“The bad guys win in this, don’t they?” She finally asks, recognising the brass tones of the soundtrack at long last.

“You have seen this!” Finn cries desolately, his body a long, sagged line of defeat.

“I just remembered. I think Zach brought it home a couple of years ago,” Alicia admits, feeling pretty bad when Finn says nothing and just stares at the T.V. Maybe she shouldn’t have said anything.

“Well…” He says slowly, his hands engulfing what seemed like such a large glass in her hands. “We can’t  _win_  them all,” He turns his head, grinning wryly and she socks him in the shoulder.

“Hey! I’m not the one that just sat through half a movie before realising I have in fact seen it.” He’s teasing her now and Alicia bites down her smile, shaking her head in disbelief. “And with my  _son_ , no less.” Finn’s grinning up at her but she’s staring resolutely at the wall, sipping her wine.

“Come on,” He pats her knee, pushing himself to stand. “I’ll find another one.”

“It’s okay,” Alicia rolls her wrist and sees it’s almost ten. “You have to be in by seven anyway. Maybe I should get going.”

“No… Stay?” He doesn’t have anything clever like normal and she realises he’s been thrown off tonight - by the movie, by her, by work. Things aren’t going to plan and she feels badly. “I mean, we can put Dave Matthews Band back on again and you can tell me about the first time Owen set the curtains on fire one more time. Or, I can heat up some pasta if you’re still hungry. I think there’s still some in the fridge, although it’s from Sunday so I don’t know how much I’d trust it. Or - ”

“Or we can just finish the movie. I don’t mind seeing it again.” Alicia takes his hand and tugs him gently back down to the lounge. He squeezes her fingers in silent thanks before letting go to pick up his glass.

It’s the empty walls, she realises. That’s what’s bothered her when she leaves his apartment and tries to recreate the memory in her mind. There’s no pictures, no art, nothing. Alicia sneaks a look over at him but he’s just drinking, watching somebody act in a terrible attempt of a Scottish accent. He looks as worn out as the couch. His NYU sweatshirt is faded but clean and his jeans only have one noticeable hole in them. He’s just lonely, she thinks, watching him. There are no pictures because he doesn’t want to be reminded of anyone. There’s no art because he barely has time to unwind before he can enjoy things.

Alicia drops her gaze to her hands and stares at her ring, pressed against the side of her glass. It catches the light bouncing from the television screen and it’s plain to her the only reason she knows these things about him is because it’s the exact same for her too. She has Grace, Alicia reminds herself. But it’s not the same anymore. Her little girl is growing up; she has her own life, her own friends, her own little world now.

Kirk’s back on the ship when she clears her throat and Finn looks over. “What’s wrong?” He asks immediately, his eyes gentle in the artificial glow of the television.

“It’s nothing,” She says, but it’s just a start. “I was just thinking about Grace growing up, and how Zach’s left. Nothing stays the same, does it?”

Finn says nothing for a while. He’s staring at the empty cardboard box filled with the anchovies he’d picked off his last two slices so he could give them to her.

“Sometimes I can’t stop thinking my son is growing up without me, that he’ll be a man before I see him again.” He’s real quiet after that and it feels wrong that things are exploding on screen right now.

“Is he back in New York?”

Finn shakes his head and finishes his glass. “She moved to Seattle. Like that movie.” Alicia swallows, her throat feels dry. She knows which movie because he’s had it out next to small stack of three or four dvds on the tv unit since the first night she came over. The stack changes each week but that one’s been there since her first visit. She’s never heard him sound so bitter or hollow before and she hopes she never does again.

Alicia reaches out a hand to touch his shoulder. It doesn’t feel like enough. “People change all the time Finn.”

“Not in the way it counts,” He says simply but it’s with tired acceptance. Finn busies himself with handing her the next bottle she brought over. Alicia thinks Leonard Nimoy looks ancient as she uncorks and he passes her the glasses, letting his fingers linger just a bit. It’s something the alcohol can explain away in the dark when the crew are in space until a lens flare illuminates his face and Alicia finds herself staring into those honest blue eyes.

“Do they?” Finn’s voice is low, almost gruff.

He wants badly to believe her, she can read it in his open stare, his eyes are so open it cuts through to the heart of her. There are only a few people who have ever really looked at her like that in her life, so few she can count them on one hand.

“I don’t know,” She can’t lie to him. Not now, maybe never. She’d trusted Peter and she’d opened herself to Will. He smiles a small sad smile, closing his eyes. Finn’s hand hasn’t left hers and they’re both still holding the glass between them. He nods, it’s a miniscule movement but it breaks the spell.

Uhura is kissing Spock and Alicia passes him a full glass and gazes into the bottom of hers. They’re whizzing around the ship but she and Finn remain motionless on the couch.

Then the power goes.

There’s a strange noise, like the petering out of a motor, or when she switches off the television to go to bed and the screen just goes dark and the light on in the hall cuts out.

“Oh no,” Alicia freezes. Finn is silent before she hears the couch creak under his shifting weight.

“Great.” There’s a big sigh before the sound of glass scuffing polished wood and the other side of the lounge suddenly seems a lot lighter. “This again.”

Again? Since when have blackouts been a usual thing for him? She can’t remember this happening before - and she’ grateful, but still. Her throat feels tight.

“Finn,” Alicia tries to keep the panic out of her voice but she can hear just how successful that is, it’s so dark. “Where are you going?”

“Are you okay?” His tone changes and he’s a lot closer than she thought. She jumps when Finn’s hand descends on the back of the couch beside her head and Alicia inadvertently ends up spilling wine all over herself.

“Oh shit.”

“What? What happened?”

She sighs, debating whether to tell him. Well, he was only going to find out when the lights came back on. “I just spilt wine on myself.”

Finn is suspiciously silent and Alicia wonders if he’s trying not to laugh at her. She blindly gropes in the dark for the table edge, finds it and measures out a blank spot for her half-empty glass. Safely out of reach Alicia goes back to sitting as still as possible before something flutters down on the couch beside her.

“Oh god! What was that?”

“Sorry,” Finn’s voice is irritatingly calm. He’s standing somewhere to her right behind the lounge and whatever it is moves again. “It’s a tea towel. I thought you could use it,” He sounds apologetic and she catches it when he drops it near enough to her lap.

“Thanks,” Alicia starts dabbing at the damp spots on her stretch pants and sweater but it’s red wine and she knows there’s not much she can do.

“I’m sorry,” He says again, sounding frustrated. “I can’t believe this is happening again.”

“How often has this happened?” Alicia presses the towel to her sweater and hopes against hope.

“This is the third time this week. They’re doing maintenance beneath the building. I’m sorry, I should have said something when you came.”

“No,” She shakes her head at herself. She’s just jittery because she’s every bit as tired as he is. God, it’s nights like this when she wishes she was normal. Just some woman with a nine-to-five job who could ask to stay over at a friend’s house so they could carpool in the morning. But that’s never going to happen and she doesn’t think she could even be that woman anymore. Not now, Not when the State’s Attorney’s office is right on the horizon. “It’s alright. It’s not your fault, Finn. Thanks for the towel.” As she says ‘towel’ the light switches on and the television flickers to life.

Alicia stands up and Finn’s eyes run down her, eyebrows rising as each stain makes itself apparent. God, how did she make that much mess? Just then the stereo blares to life and scares them half to death with the start of 'Ants Marching’ again.

“Oh my god!” Alicia’s hands grip the tea towel for dear life and accidentally knocks her glass over again, catching the back of her legs against the coffee table.

Finn is in stitches at this point and with the musical mix of guitars and violins beating as Dave Matthews sings such an awfully high note, and the comedy that has become her clothes Alicia breaks down and laughs so hard her sides hurt. She has to sit and Finn makes his way over to collapse beside her again.

“Alicia,” He tries to say her name for the third time in as many minutes, “Alicia, oh god, your face.”

She’s delicately wiping tears from her eyes. When was the last time she even laughed this hard? “Oh my god. I don’t think Dave Matthews has ever scared anyone so much in one night.”

“I will never be able to listen to that CD the same way again.” He’s still chuckling when he runs a hand over his face. Alicia thinks he looks run-into the ground. “I honestly can’t remember laughing so hard in… Years probably,” Finn confesses.

She smiles warmly back at him. “Me too.” Her tea towel is soaking up the wine on the coffee table but neither of them move to clean up the night’s mess just yet. Alicia leans over the couch to switch off the stereo and catches Finn with that look again.

“What?” She asks, still in good humour.

“Nothing,” He shakes his head. Finn makes it seem very much like it’s something and she tugs down her ruined sweatshirt again.

“What?” Alicia asks again, drawing the question out when she pokes him in the arm.

“You’re just… No, it’s nothing. I’m really glad you came over.” He pats her leg again and quickly stands, finally clearing the box and bottles. Alicia follows with the glasses and towel and leaves them in the sink when he heads over to the recycling near the hall. The layout of Finn’s apartment is not too different from her own, but where hers has three bedrooms, his barely has room for one. There are open files all over the 'dining’ table and boxes line the wall down towards the television.

“Here,” Finn reappears with another NYU shirt in his hands. “You might wanna clean up.” He’s grinning smartly, his mouth twisting to stop the flood of jokes she knows he’s saving up for a later date.

“Thanks,” She says, her lips mimicking his expression too before she finds the bathroom.

It’s tiny but clean and she wonders if he’s a ten-minute showerer or if he takes his time. Now she’s imagining him naked and wet in the empty cubicle beside her and that wont do. Alicia makes a face at herself in the mirror and tells herself to pull it together. Her cheeks are too red, her eyes are too bright. She splashes cold water over her face quickly before taking off her jumper and pulling on Finn’s. It’s enormous, but it does the trick and she feels fresher just for wearing it. Maybe the ride home won’t be so embarrassing.

Finn’s washing up the glasses when she comes back into the kitchen. Alicia picks up a clean dishcloth and wipes them down, popping them back into cupboard on her right without thinking. Is it weird that she knows his kitchen so well? Alicia wonders, leaving the cloth on the handle of the oven door where Finn keeps them out. He’s leaning with his back against the sink; his legs crossed casually, one over the other.

Alicia moves to pick up her bag, walking past the table, navigating around the couch and studiously ignoring the copy of  ‘Sleepless in Seattle’ that sits discarded on the corner of the unit next to her bag.

“All set,” she smiles. He’s called her cab; she could hear his soft voice when she finished in the bathroom. “Thanks for tonight, Finn.”

“Sure,” He says brightly. “Feel free to come over and ruin your sweaters whenever you like.”

“Only if you promise another blackout.”

“I’ll see what I can do,” Finn walks her to the door and waits for her to pass.

“You don’t have to walk me down,” She says even though it’s futile. He’s going to come no matter what she says. It’s a conversation they have every time.

“In this neighbourhood?” He scoffs for show, following her down the long hallway. “I’d find your case on my desk in the morning.”

The elevator is slow but the air is a little colder now and it’s waking her up. She has a meeting with Cary and a new client tomorrow, she can’t afford to screw up, but it’s just another on a long list of things she can’t let slide.

“Hey, we’re okay, right?” Alicia asks suddenly. He looks at her funny, his head cocked to the side like she’s just admitted she can do jujitsu.

“Of course we are. Should we not be?”

“No,” She shakes her head and runs her fingers over the leather strap of her bag. “We’re fine. We’re one of the few things still fine.” The last sentence is damning and his hand is on her back before it’s quickly moved up onto the safety of her shoulder.

“Let me know if we’re not,” He says quietly but she can feel the warmth of his breath in the elevator. He smells like pepperoni and a little shaving cream and lot like wine. Nope, the wine is probably her. It’s a spicy, thick scent though and she finds herself breathing deeply, comforted by the warmth of his proximity.

“I will.” Alicia looks up at him and he smiles.

The cab is waiting for her like always and he opens the door. “Such a gentleman,” She teases and he laughs soundlessly into the night.

“Yeah, yeah,” Finn’s tired but when he looks down at her on the other side of the door she knows he’ll be alright. They’ll both be alright.

“I’ll see you,” Alicia leans against the door and he leans on his side. He presses a chaste kiss to her cheek before either of them can think about it.

“I’ll see you,” He repeats and Alicia folds herself into the back of the car feeling numb and warm all at once. Finn stands back, hands in pockets, and she watches him watch her as the taxi pulls away into the night.


End file.
